STANISLAV, gideon marie

[gideon marie stanislav]

CAN WE PRETEND
that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could
really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now

GIDEON MARIE STANISLAV *

"uh, hi. my name is gideon, but i answer to just about anything you call me. i'm the seventeen year old keyboardist and lead singer for my band, blank slates. i was born in russia on october thirty first at nine thirty nine at night but i moved to the states around two years ago.

i was diagnosed with slight social phobia when i was seven, which just means that... i have a hard time talking to people and i really really avoid big crowds when i can. a lot of times i choke up, and keep really quiet and stuff, which is why my mic has to be turned up a lot. needless to say, most people just take it as i'm a shy person. i don't really go out of my way to talk to people or make friends, because i'm more content and comfortable being by myself or with a few close friends. but, if you come up to talk to me, i'll converse. just don't be confused if i'm really quiet.

most people have also noticed it's really hard to take advantage of me. sure, i'm quiet and like.. i don't really put up much a fight when people get upset with me, or start swinging, or get mad, but i know when enough is enough. i know when to stop people when they're getting too close, and when arguments get out of hand. i'm pretty good at making the right decisions, but i keep a pretty open mind, so if you bring up valid points, my opinion can be swayed and changed, but don't expect me to jump into things. i'm pretty weary and scared of just about everything, unfortunately enough for me.

with that being said, if i'm close to you, and i feel like i've disappointed you, hurt you, or any thing of the sort, i get these really horribly guilt trips. and if you know me well enough, then you'd know about them.. so a lot of time, i end up changing my mind or freaking out because of the really horrible guilt trips my mind has put me through. these happen.. probably daily lately. i feel bad about just about everything i do and say, so i just try to keep quiet and stuff, to keep from making things worse on myself.

now, for lack of better things to do or say, and to avoid the public eye and many crowds, once i do my job, i like to sit and read. whether it's in a corner backstage until they need me again, or in my bunk on the bus, just so that i don't have to talk to people. on most occasions, people don't bother me, and on the rare findings they do, they usually have something to say. i don't know, my whole life i've just really liked the solitude of being able to tune out the world with a good book, and i'm not sure it's ever going to wear off.

i was born and raised for fourteen years in saint petersburg, russia. i had a pretty good life. i had a working father and my mom actually worked too, which was weird for the area. it wasn't normal for a woman to work, but my mom did, and she was happy doing it once i got a bit older. my sister, ema, is three years older than me, and once she reached nine or so and i was around six she pretty much started raising me by taking care of her while mom and dad were out or at work. not that i really care. honestly, ema is my best friend. she's the only person that's been here for me consistantly, and i'm more than thankful for her.

once i reached age fifteen, ema and i were closer than we had ever been. but our happy little family in russia came to an abrupt hault when we were forced to watch our uncle murder our parents. he kept telling us about how he hated our dad, how people always liked him better, how his life had always been better. the works. everything i had ever known besides ema was gone. they had disappeared right before my very eyes, and i really didn't even know how to cope with things, so i just sort of shut myself down slowly. the nightmares still haunt me of that and stuff, my biggest fears are that he'll find us. but whatever. soon after that, ema and i packed all of our things and set off for los angeles, california.

i'd honestly never been the united states until that day. i knew how to speak english, and pretty fluently. i had always found books in english much more interesting than books in russian. we got to LA and i enrolled into a high school. people always sort of made fun of me, but not really. i tried hard to stay out of others view and stuff. i started in nineth grade in los angeles, and my sister worked on her career. she went to school to be a tattoo artist, and all that jazz. she worked hard and i worked hard. it was mutual hard workingness that made us so close, i think. she really cares and i can tell.

during the middle of my tenth grade year, i did the talent show or something like that at my school playing keyboard and singing, and these guys came up to me and asked me to join their band. of course i said yes, i wanted to be successful like my sister. these guys slowly became my best friends. and my sister joined my band, too. this was around the same time i met my boy friend who was also in a band, just not the same band as me. it's kind of crazy we're on the same tour now, but i'm glad we are. the only thing is that lately, he's been doing drugs..

and things aren't that great for me. the drugs make him violent, not that i care, but sometimes it hurts.. i try not to bring it up, because that just makes him mad and i try to avoid him when he's doing them.. but i can't bring myself to leave him. i love him, he's the only one that i've ever loved and when he's sober he seems to love me.. i just. don't know what to do. for now, i'm just working to keep it from everyone else. nobody knows yet, and i don't want anyone to find out.

I COULD USE A

dream or a genie or a wish to go back to a place much simpler
than this cause after all the partyin' the smashin' and crashin'

hey guys! my names alyssa and i'm an admin around this little site. i've been roleplaying for around two years now and i'm sixteen years old, but i'll be seventeen on october twenty fifth. i live in washington state, which is the pacific time zone, which is gmt -8. other than gideon i play kalyn, mason, ryland, and ransom. here's an example of my work.

amanda smirked to herself as she logged off of the computer, jumping up out of her chair happily. she wasn't only trying to have sex with zane because she needed to get laid, but also because she was just amazing and knew that the whore was like, in love with him. she had seen the way her face lit up when the girl heard his voice and it made her giggle internally, now that she was getting the chance to sleep with him. she'd rub it in the girl's face eventually, it wouldn't take too much and nobody put it past her. she was out to hurt the girl any way she could, mostly because she was always all over zui's soon-to-be boyfriend, and that never flew well with the best friend. never ever. if murder wasn't illegal, the girl would've been thrown under the bus a long time ago. literally, thrown under a bus. there would probably some stupid search party searching for the dumb skank and she would just sit in her bus giggling with zui, because that's what they thought of the girl. she would've thrown a yay-storms-gone party with hers and zui's bands and they would've partied all night long, doing more than she should've. zui was her best friend, she'd take a bullet for her and give up her life if it meant that zui could have the best life ever. she was that kind of a person, so zui's enemies where her enemies, and her enemies were zui's enemies. they had been best friends since they met, last year on the same tour. neither of them had been fond of other people, though people were starting to drop dead and bands were quitting, which made her worry about herself slightly. she knew she was a bitch, but what about zui? zui would go before she did.

she shook those thoughts away from herself and stood up. she had to get dressed then go clean zane's bus and sleep with him. then she would make a stop at theatre of robot's bus to talk to zui and make sure she wasn't breaking anything, and because she knew that zoozoo would want to know. she needed something to do, and zane fit her standards. behind all his hair, he was pretty damn good looking, even with the makeup. she was sure a lot of girls out there would kill to sleep with him, though amanda wasn't anywhere near that desperate. if he had been joking, she would've gotten dressed and skipped off to find someone who wanted her, because to be honest, a lot of people wanted her in their bed. she had big boobs, a small waist, and a full ass; an hour glass shape, and she was damn proud of it and showed it off. most of the guys on tour had slept with her, except the ones that were younger than her, because then she felt like a pedophile. well..only when they looked younger than her. she knew zane was younger than her, but he didn't look it, really. he seemed like he was the same age as her, not older or younger. of course not older. his hair was long, longer than she normally would've dealt with if he didn't have more pros than cons. she was sure people had mistaken him as a girl from behind at least once or twice, which, she had to admit, would've been funny to witness. she giggled, imagining someone walking up to him and asking him out, only to realize that he was male and not female. she probably would've cracked up and laughed for days. she probably would've taunted the poor kid for days, too, and never would've forgotten or let him forget.

the blond wandered over to her small suitcase, opening it with a frown. of course she didn't get closet space, her sister used both of their space, which wasn't all that surprising to her or her band mates. her sister was the diva and she was the whore, but they all knew and accepted that. the only time amanda ever looked even remotely normal was on stage, when she resorted to jeans and a t-shirt for comfort instead of her mico-miniature skirts and see through shirts. the only person who ever really confronted her about it was her sister, and it was starting to get annoying, considering the girl had been stupid enough to let pictures of her half naked leak. now, amanda knew that there were pictures of her bare, but she liked it that way. she didn't mind people seeing her almost completely exposed, or completely exposed for that matter. it usually just made people want to sleep with her more, and part of her was surprised that she wasn't pregnant yet, considering she never really mentioned condoms or any sort of protection. she wasn't on the pill and she never brought male protection. it was almost as if she was asking to get pregnant, so she could get rid of it, she supposed is what people thought would happen. though, they were wrong. if she got pregnant, she would quit her band and become a real parent, though she knew that she would end up either alone or on tour as a tag-along for the father. she shuddered at the thought, but she couldn't give sex up. it was all she knew besides breathing and drumming. she didn't know how to pull herself away from it, it wasn't like she didn't have endless opportunities, on a tour with mostly men and with a lot of male fans completely attracted to her. she could sleep with almost anyone she wanted to.

amanda dug into her bag, pulling out a pair of matching panties and bra. zebra striped with pink lining. they were probably one of the more expensive parts of her wardrobe. she liked to look like she had the money to at least buy nice undergarments, which most people didn't. she cared what she looked like, always. all her underwear and bras had matches. it was slutty and such, but she didn't care what other bitches thought of her. she would know when it got out of hand, and it hadn't yet. she also pulled out an extremely short, hot pink dress, smiling to herself. this was her outfit today, and probably some heels. it would be fun, she was sure. he looked like he had some experience from the pictures she'd seen, and from when she'd observed him onstage. she smiled to herself and locked herself in the back room of her bus, tearing her clothes off. she was only wearing baggy pajama bottoms and a tight tanktop. boy short boxer underwear and no bra. she could see someone stop and stare through the window and leaned over, her breasts hanging out all over the place smiling down at him before shutting the blinds. she clipped her bra into place and pulled the thong up her legs, looking over her tattoos in the mirror for a second, sighing to herself. quickly, she pulled the dress over her body, it barely covered her butt. she gave a satisfied nod of her head, rushing into the bathroom with a brush. she combed through her long bleached blond locks, smlinging to herself as she ran the flat iron through it, her fingers fidgetting. she looked like a whore by the looks of her clothing, but her face was plain. she hated herself without makeup.

quickly, the girl picked up her foundation, dabbing some of it in the right places and watching as it blended into her skin, then took her cover up in her hands, swirling a little makeup brush around, letting the powder sprinkle all over her face, working it into her skin. her skin looks flawless now, but her eyes looked dull and uncolorful, which was never okay to her. she opened her liquid eyeliner, making dark lines on the top of her eyelid, extending it just outside of her lashes, screwing the top back on. her stick eyeliner was in her hands within seconds, laying a thick layer of black against her bottom eye lashes, she blinked in the mirror for a second, closing her eyeliner and picking up her mascara. she let the black liquid enlongate her lashes, blinking again before putting clear lip gloss over her lips. she was one of her better days, she looked good. she looked the way she wanted to and with another nod into the mirror and an unsure falter of her lips, she went back out to her suitcase, putting her pajamas back in, zipping it up. she quickly scribbled out a note saying not to worry about her and all that jazz before letting her shoes slip onto her feet. her shoes made her a whole four inches taller, making her five foot five inches. she bent down, clipping the buckles into place, walking over to the door. she was finally feeling pretty and was ready to go, easily walking down the steps and across the gravel, smirking to herself. most people wondered how she walked so easily on this kind of ground with that kind of heel, but she was more than used to it by now. it was something she had learned to do since the year before. this was her second year on the nineteen stars tour, her band had been one of the five that had been asked to come back the year before, and hopefully this year would be the year they would be signed at the end of the year, but that really had nothing to do with what she was about to do.

she searched for i make scenes burn's bus and a smile pressed against her lips. she knocked lightly and stepped back, her hip popped out a tad bit, waiting for him to come to the door, humming one of the bands songs to herself. it was one of zui's. "storm, stand up and recieve this award. i am pleased to pronounce you a whore. storm, you're such a disease, you're the queen of the sleaze. rule the world from your knees." the words were singing themselves in her head and the bars buzzing in her throat. she loved that song and had been one of the people to help her friend write the song. it was fun and sounded great. as long as the words weren't leaving her mouth, though, she was good..because she was about to meet storm's "brother". she didn't think they were related, but it didn't really matter. even if they were, storm still had some weird ass attraction to him. she could tell, and she was about to break all the little girl's dreams.

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

this application was made by two birds. of caution. steal and her hoard of zombies will come and eat your brains.