Post by afina rain phoenix on Aug 24, 2010 13:57:39 GMT -5
CAN WE PRETEND
that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could
really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now
that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could
really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now
AFINARAINPHOENIX*
[So, I should probably start this thing...right? Okay, so..let's start with my name..Afina Rain Phoenix...Some call my Fina and some call me Affy I..really don't care. whatever floats your boat honestly, if I did care then...yeah I really would be giving you one name to call me..but I'm not so whatever right? Right. I'm eighteen and play in the band armed and dangerous. I'm the drummer.I really don't have a interesting rise to fame story really. No rags to riches, nothing too spectacular...Honestly, life has probably handed me a shitty deck of cards but that's what everyone says about themselves right? I don't like talking about myself really. It's kinda..weird. I never do talk about myself...I think I hate it but I'm not entirely sure. I've never really hated in my life. I hate broccoli yeah, but that's about it. I don't think I could ever hate another person really. I'm..not the type to do that. I care too much.
People say I have no backbone. I probably don't. I could never say a mean word to someone. Never crossed them or raised my voice. It's super easy to manipulate someone like me. I just don't see through lies like other people. I don't have that sense of character where I can tell if you're a seedy person or not. It's just not there. The result? Me getting hurt in everyday situations. Someone always has to stand up for me or else I have nothing to defend myself with. I just stand there and take it. I know I should hate that person too. But I can't bring myself to do it. Really, it's sad. I'm a fragile person and many break me and break me again and you know what. I keep going for more because I can't control it. That's why my sister and brother look after me though.
I'm the sweetest person you can meet. I'm shy...really quiet...really shy. Probably why I never say anything to anyone or try to avoid people I don't really know. I don't know what will happen to me if I see them. I don't know if they will hurt me. I tend to hide behind my friends when I don't know what to do or who to talk to. They protect me and it's fine. Sometimes I feel like I take advantage of them but I really don't want to...I just can't handle it really. But, I'm in a shell, I break out of it slowly with people when I get to know them and trust them more. That's another thing.
Fun? I can be...I just don't think people and I have the same definition of fun really. I don't know why. But I have my own sort of fun, by myself in my bus with the t.v and no not that kind of fun -_- I kinda just like to chill and play video games. I guess that's my version of fun and all. Nothing too bad about that right? Right. It's nothing, I'm fine. I can be fun if you like that stuff though. I am a self conscious person. I can't take compliments for shit. I do put myself down a lot even when I don't notice it. I don't try to but I do. I guess it's from the constant verbal abuse I've received in the past. I just believe whatever someone says about me. I know people call me pretty and stuff but honestly, I just think I'm plain.
Trust, I'm...horrible at trusting new people. I don't show it but I really am. I never speak about my past with anyone too. I just don't want to remember any of it. It still scares me even to today. Along with that I'm a nervous person. Very nervous around people I don't know. I tend to stutter over my words and sometimes shake a little that's because I don't know people and I don't know what to do. Honestly, the only people who are strangers that I'm comfortable with are my fans and my friends. Fans are a entirely different story in itself. I know, we don't have many due to being a younger band but the ones we do have I love to death. Even though I don't know them I just love them for listening to our music and giving us a chance.
Yeah, I know Armed and Dangerous's songs are a bit...whorish. But really, I'm a virgin. I've kissed one boy once, in third grade that was about it. That was a stupid first kiss too. I honestly, have attraction to men I just...don't ever follow it. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I hide my emotions. Maybe that's why I seem so boring. I am a boring person. I don't party despite what our songs say. I don't fuck I don't drink and when I do it's weird. I don't like the drunk feeling, I never did drugs so I really can't say how I feel about getting high but I don't think I would like that either. I do wear...sometimes revealing outfits but that's my stage clothing. Honestly, I rather sit on the bus and read or watch some old disney or horror movies the black and white ones that everyone thought they were cheesy. I'm also a video game nerd. I don't know why, but I'm obsessed with the kingdom hearts series. I don't usually obsess over things but there are a few that I am attached to per say.
I . The only time I really get mad is if you hurt one of my friends or siblings. badly. Like, very badly. I will get angry, it just takes so so so much and it really does take that much to piss me off. It's hard really and it's only happened once in my life and it wasn't pretty. Other than that I'm the most caring person in the world. I'm the girl who won't even squish a spider or hurt a fly. It's sad honestly, some people find my pathetic. I really don't care. That's another thing about me. I really don't care what you think about me. If you think I'm a slut fine. I don't care..I just ignore the mean words or at least don't show any reaction to them in front of you. If I'm alone damn right I'm going to be hard on myself and cry. I can't even take compliments at all. I'm not in this whole tour for the fame. I'm just doing what I love the most and that's to be onstage. Sure, I don't seem like that person and yeah, I do get nervous and yeah, people do tell me my music is horrible. But it's what I do and no one could ever really change that can they? I guess it's just all part of my personality.
I dress quite simply, on stage. I wear tank tops and shorts with heels or flats. Sometimes it's layers sometimes it isn't. Off stage you can usually find me wearing tank tops or band t-shirts. Most of the time I'm wearing a plaid button up shirt in a million different colors, honestly I own like the rainbow. Sometimes I wear v-necks too with long sleeves or short sleeves. Just depends on the day. I stick to skinny jeans and shorts. Sometimes I wear a skirt but only for some occasion. I wear flats a lot. Most of the time you can find me wearing those or chuck taylor's which I also own in every color or design. My jewelry is simple. A few necklaces and bracelets maybe. I have my ears gauges to tens and I'm not sure if I plan on going any bigger. My hair? It's blond, dyed blond. That's how you tell me and my sister apart.
My hair changes shades of blonde really. It's the only color I feel comfortable with and brown. I guess it also brings out my light brown eyes. I try not to wear make up either. Oh, I also have both sides of my nose pierces and a tattoo on the underside of my upper arm that reads. "We will wear compassion we will wear it, and the gates of hell won't stand against it" That's about it on my tattoo though. I plan on getting another one but I don't know when.
So....My history? Okay then. I was born on June third, I'm eighteenn as of now so I was born in 1992. Okay, I was born to Erick and Marilyn Lyons, they were my real parents. I was also born with a twin sister Diego. I wasn't wanted, I was a surprise, a disaster, and a mistake. Those were the words from my mother. My father was a cop, and not a good one. He was a corrupted one, he did drugs he fucked with the system. My mother was a whore I guess he picked up from the street and threatened to kill her if she didn't marry him. So, out I came three years later. He was abusive. My dad, he was just so bad. He hurt anyone, animals me, my sister, anything. I guess I'm lucky to be alive now. My mother and I...She never cared about us. They neglected me, treated me like crap and I just stuck through it. I didn't know anything. My mom never hugged me or anything. As soon as I was old enough they started abusing me, telling me to be quiet and never act out.
I did everything they told me too. I just never seemed to please them at all despite how hard I tried. I always wondered what I did to deserve it all too. You know when you're little and you want to know what you did to get the pain? That's how I felt. I just gritted my teeth though. Almost every day I would have new bruises around my wrists or along my ribs from being thrown around like a doll by both of my parents if you could really call them that. By the time I started going to school, people started wondering, they just said I was clumsy and had a balance problem or something. They went to some back alley doctor who gave them fake medical forms, saying I bruise easily. I knew it wasn't the case but I kept quiet, knowing I would receive much more than the normal punishment if I squealed. My dad got drunk and by the time I was ten I was seriously injured, breaking my right arm in two places and my left wrist and also four ribs. He pushed me out of the window off of the second story of our building. I almost died if it wasn't for people in the hospital.
By then, I was a mute, I refused to talk. I didn't want to. Eleven years old they threw me into a mental hospital. The..people there were horrible. I was scared out of my mind. I just wanted out, I just wanted someone to take care of me or something. The patients there hurt me. The kicked me they broke bones. I just...I don't even know. I was so drugged up I didn't care. They said I had a personality disorder I just heard bullshit from crooked doctors. I was depressed and had no idea what I was doing. I just did what I was told.
My sister during all of this was by my side. She started getting more violet and violent towards my parents they had to put her in with me. She rebelled and protected me. We were let out though, a year after and that's when child services found out what was going on. They put us in the care of the Phoenix's who later adopted us offically. Their song becoming our own brother soon after. We started a band then and everything worked out. Till my dad found me
It was cool, really. I really didn't think we would get anything out of it. I almost died that year, my dad almost killed me and my sister again. If it wasn't for Phineas we would of died. I met someone though...The love of my life --- --- --- all thes band members that are dying? That's me and him...
I COULD USE A
dream or a genie or a wish to go back to a place much simpler
than this cause after all the partyin' the smashin' and crashin'
than this cause after all the partyin' the smashin' and crashin'
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this application was made by two birds. of caution. steal and her hoard of zombies will come and eat your brains.